Name: Personality audit.
Age: Since the beginning of time, people have been concerned about what other people think of them.
Even more so since the beginning of the internet and social media. How do you see me, by the way? Big. Curious, definitely.
It’s my job. I mean what about my personality? Um, are you sure you really want to know?
Yes! i am bright warm and nice to be around, right? Well …
Wait, are you saying there can be a gap between how people (me, for example) see themselves and how others (you, for example) see them? It is possible.
But even if it wasn’t all five-star good reviews, knowing how others see you (me) would be helpful, wouldn’t it? I think, but there are different ways to do it.
What else but to do what I did: come right out and ask? A recent Slate article focuses on a woman who was concerned that there might be a gap in how others saw her and what she saw in the mirror, so she set up a survey.
Like some sort of personality audit? Exactly that, for her friends and family. It asked them to describe their first impressions of her, to characterize her voice, tone and body language, as well as to ask them how she could show them “the best affection”.
And? Sure enough there was a disconnect. While she saw herself as bubbly and on top, some of the responses called her reserved, guarded and avoidant. One said she was “coiled like a snake”.
Ah! Yes, but she wanted to know. And finding out like this is probably a good way to do it.
how so? Well, it’s almost certainly easier to take when it’s presented that way – a bit formalized, in a survey. Easier than your best mate to say it straight to your face.
Yes, I can see that. Also, unless they were very angry with you or you had a burning row, they probably wouldn’t give it to you outright – to protect you and not destroy the relationship.
Hmm. So I have to set up a questionnaire? Or there are websites available. Admonium, for example, allows you to either admire or admonish your colleagues. Anonymous.
I guessed it, the anonymous bit. And that’s why I will call you “sharp” in any questionnaire you send me.
Do say: “Be honest, what do you really think?”
Don’t say: “You’re going to need a thick skin – but that shouldn’t be a problem for you…”
