LLike many people, I find that stress turns me into a nasty combination of Oscar the Grouch and Scrooge McDuck. The more busy I am, the more irritable I feel – and the less generous I become. I partly blame our culture. I’ve read enough wellness advice to know that I need to prioritize my own needs over other people’s. And so, when I feel under pressure, I have often made it a habit to practice small indulgences aimed at restoring my mental equilibrium while isolating myself from all but the most essential social obligations.
After reading the latest psychological research, I can’t help but wonder if this attitude is only making my bad mood worse. A host of new studies have shown that being kind to others is often the most effective way to suppress the physiological and psychological stress response. Whether we’re donating our time to a charity, “paying it forward” at a coffee shop, or offering emotional help to a friend in need, altruism can boost our well-being in ways we simply don’t experience by treating ourselves . Other care, it turns out, is often one of the best forms of self-care.
My interest as a science writer was first piqued by a series of papers investigating the surprising vitality of volunteers. Across hundreds of studies, scientists have found that engaging in unpaid work for the benefit of others provides a significant boost to well-being. These include a greater sense of meaning and purpose, more self-esteem, higher overall life satisfaction and reduced risk of depression. Surprisingly, it even appears to reduce the risk of death. “The effect on mortality really stands out,” says Beth Nichol, an associate lecturer at Northumbria University and lead author of a recent scientific review summarizing the evidence.
In large population studies such as this, it is always possible that a third “confounding” factor may explain the apparent association. For example, volunteers may be in better shape before they even begin their altruistic efforts. “Health is a resource that enables us to participate in society,” explains Prof Arjen de Wit, a sociologist at VU Amsterdam. Then there is wealth: wealthier people, who can afford better medical care and therefore live longer, may be more likely to volunteer.
However, the scientists tried to control these possibilities, and a significant result still remains. A recent meta-analysis, for example, assessed the effects of volunteering for people aged 65 and over, from 26 of the highest quality studies available. It concluded that the average volunteer has a 57% chance of outliving the average non-volunteer.
A big investigation led by De Wit, covering data from a quarter of a million European participants, suggests that the benefits may be cumulative. “If you have a year-over-year effect on your health, then it can add up if you keep volunteering, and it can make a difference, especially for older people,” he says.
Before joining a local charity, it’s worth noting that many other altruistic activities seem to bring a similar health bonus. Caring for friends or family members – through emotional support or by running practical errands – is also thought to increase longevity, for example. “The scientific evidence on this point is pretty strong,” says Tristen Inagaki, an associate professor of psychology at San Diego State University. “Three separate studies have shown that more social support to a spouse or someone else which we are close to is related to lower mortality – so more give predicts greater life expectancy over periods of five, seven and 23 years.”
Whe would it be? One possible explanation is that supporting others simply increases physical activity as we are making ourselves useful. However, Inagaki’s research suggests that the benefits may lie deep in the brain’s emotional processing.
In one experiment, she asked 20 women to undergo a brain scan while holding hands with their partners, who received unpleasant electric shocks. Inagaki saw increased activity in the ventral striatum and septal area—regions known to be involved in reward—and decreased activity in the amygdala, which tends to respond to threat and danger. In other words, the act of giving support seemed to create a warm buzz of pleasure while dampening feelings of stress.
Inagaki seen a similar reaction when participants gifted raffle tickets to a friend or family member. Interestingly, the extent of this neural activity appears to be linked to their usual behavior. People who endorsed statements like “I give others a sense of comfort in times of need” saw greater changes in these key brain regions.
The regions involved in stress reduction, says Inagaki, can influence the actions of the cardiovascular and immune systems, which would explain why kind and supportive behavior is associated with better health.
It’s tempting to think that we might be able to harness these benefits for ourselves while also making the world a better place for others. The gold standard of any study is the randomized controlled trial, in which participants are assigned to receive the active treatment or a placebo. However, there are some inherent difficulties in “prescribing” generous behavior and measuring the effects – but a few scientists have tried to overcome these challenges, and their findings are intriguing.
Consider a study led by Ashley Whillans at Harvard Business School, who investigated the benefits of gift giving for people previously diagnosed with hypertension.
Each participant received three payments of $40, contained in a sealed bottle, over six weeks. Half were advised to treat themselves, while the rest were encouraged to treat another person. “It doesn’t matter how you spend the $40 as long as you spend it on someone else,” they were told.
The result was a significant drop in blood pressure, over and above their existing treatments for hypertension. To give exact numbers: the liberal group recorded 113.85 systolic and 67.03 diastolic mmHg, compared to 120.71 and 72.97 mmHg in the self-serving participants. The difference is equivalent to the effects of taking hypertension medication or starting a new diet and exercise regimen.
The greatest benefits appear to be when we combine our kind and generous behavior with meaningful social engagement. Researchers in Canada and the US gave random passers-by at a university campus a $10 Starbucks gift card. Some were told to give the card to another person, without accompanying them to the coffee shop, while others were asked to join the recipient and enjoy a drink together. A third group was encouraged to meet someone but use the card to buy them a coffee, while the fourth group was told to go to the coffee shop alone and have some “me time” with their free drink to enjoy That evening, each participant completed questionnaires to measure their emotional well-being.
We can guess that most of the people across the experiment were pretty bummed about the free voucher, but the biggest mood boost went to the people who treated their companion to coffee and conversation, to maximize the opportunity for social connection.
Gillian Sandstrom, a psychology lecturer at the University of Sussex, suspects it’s all about the feedback you receive. “I think we know intuitively that kindness is a good thing,” said Sandstrom, who co-authored the coffee card study. “But if you just write a check, you don’t get the same feel-good factor as if you can see the difference you’ve made.” This was clear when her colleagues examined the effects of charitable giving: people get more satisfaction from giving money to someone personally connected to the charity than from simply putting some cash in a collection box.
Inagaki suspects this will be true for many types of social support; we need to know that our actions have had the desired impact. “If we feel that the care we have given does not address the need, or help the person or the cause, or alleviate the problem, there are reasons to suppose that giving that kind of care will be less beneficial to health ,” she said. say. The consequences may also depend on our sense of autonomy. Feeling compelled to cook and clean for an ungrateful family member can feel very different from willingly offering our support to, say, a friend who has just left the hospital and making it clear that our efforts are truly appreciated .
Much remains to be discovered, including the influence of gender. Most studies show no consistent differences in the amount of help offered by men or women, or in the health benefits of those actions. from Sandstrom researchhowever, suggests that we do have gendered beliefs about the types of help and support we have to offer, and participants tend to worry about violating those norms. A man may be less comfortable cooking chicken soup for a sick friend, while a woman may expect some negative judgment for doing household repairs. “Researchers don’t think there is any difference in how friendly men and women are, just in the way they carry it out,” she says. Overcoming those biases can help us find new opportunities to help others that we currently miss.
Like any psychological strategy, we must apply the lessons of this research with appropriate caution. If you’re struggling to cope, it’s still wise to establish clear personal boundaries; there are no benefits to becoming a martyr.
However, if you have the time and resources, you may find that prioritizing other care is the perfect antidote to your bad moods and lethargy. Despite initial skepticism, I practice it myself. My irritability, I realized, is often a sign that I need more contact with others, not less, and so I look for opportunities to overcome those moments of misanthropy. I always feel better because I’ve shifted my mental focus outward – and maybe I’ll even live longer because of it.
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David Robson is the author of The Laws of Connection: 13 Social Strategies That Will Transform Your Life, published by Canongate (£18.99). Around the Guardian and Observer order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply
