EExperts have warned that sperm donated in the UK is being exported and used to create large numbers of children across several countries, defying a strict 10-family limit in place in the UK.
A legal loophole means that while a single donor can be used to create no more than 10 families in UK fertility clinics, there are no restrictions on companies making sperm or eggs available for additional fertility treatments abroad. The Guardian spoke to the people affected.
Laura Dine, South Wales
Dine (36) learned at the age of 10 that she was conceived by a donor. She wanted to reconnect with the man she believed to be her biological father, who left the family home when she was three years old. But her mother revealed that her biological father was in fact an anonymous sperm donor.
“It was one of my life’s missions to find my biological father.” Dine eventually tracked him down through DNA testing sites. In the process, she also matched 25 half-siblings.
“I do little math scenarios in my head,” says Dine. “Around 5% of the UK population is on Ancestry.com. If we’ve identified 25 siblings alone there – there’s going to be variables, but if you just extrapolate it directly, you’re looking at 500. Even if you take that down by some size, it makes me uncomfortable.”
She initially worried that the donor would be put off establishing a relationship when he became aware of how many biological children were out there. But he and his wife were open and welcoming and Dine says they have an incredible amount in common; they own the same breed of dog, both studied environmental science at the University of Plymouth and are both runners.
However, the steady accumulation of genetic half-siblings felt overwhelming at times. “I matched with my first half-brother Sam in 2017. In seven years I went from one to 25.”
She was worried about the possibility of accidentally forming a romantic connection with a blood relative and says that as a result she tends to date men who are not from the UK. And discovering that she was one of a large number of half-siblings affected her sense of identity. “You hear about people’s parents meeting at Glastonbury. It’s not very glamorous or romantic and the numbers add to that feeling. It makes you feel a little mass-produced.”
Grace Halden, London
A single mother by choice, Halden used donor sperm to conceive twin daughters, who were born in 2019. Halden, who is a senior lecturer at Birkbeck, University of London, has a professional background in bioethics but says she was unaware of the possibility of her donor’s sperm being exported. “I chose a British donor who I believed would be used for a maximum of 10 families. Everyone makes different decisions, but for me I wanted to keep the donor sibling pool as small as possible within my control.”
However, when she revisited her donor profile page some time after her daughters were born, she was alarmed to see a note that said “export only”. “I was blindsided. I felt like I might not have made the decision I did if I had thought exporting was an option.”
When she contacted the clinic, she was referred to the terms and conditions of the consent forms she had signed. “Sure enough, it’s buried there,” she said. After raising the issue on a local social media group, she realized others were making similar discoveries.
Halden has meanwhile been reassured that in her case the donor’s sperm will not be exported and says the sperm bank responded positively after she raised the issue. However, she is concerned that there is a greater lack of transparency.
“Yes, it’s a business, but they’re creating people. The priority must always be the children that are created.”
Kevin Moore, Wiltshire
Moore, 39, is an inseminated donor and also a sperm donor. Now based in Wiltshire, Moore is originally from Florida, where “in the 80s, when I was born, they didn’t keep records”.
He is on a WhatsApp group with seven of his donor half-siblings, but says he has no idea of the total number. “There are a lot of stories coming out of the United States with these big family gatherings.”
With each addition, it’s harder to form a meaningful connection, he found. “It’s just hard to establish a relationship with somebody every year, every two years,” he said. “You have to go through the same life story … I’m like, ‘Not again.'”
Moore is also a sperm donor and has at least 14 biological children, based on the figure provided five years ago by the HFEA, the UK’s fertility regulator. “I was like, ‘Oh my god, that’s quite a lot.’ That’s where I think the limit of 10 families feels a little heavier. Even now, because there is no limit within families, I can have 20 plus.”
So far, the mother of one of his biological children – a 12-year-old girl – has had contact. “As a first experience, it was very respectful and nice,” he said, but it came at a time when he had to support his own parents in the US who had health problems. “You don’t know if and when they’re going to find you, but you have to be prepared to have that conversation 20 times.”
Moore favors “some sort of limit” and says 10 families feels about right. “To me, it raises the question of why one donor should be used 50 times,” he said. “Isn’t there a better solution than this? You imagine these extended families of thousands and thousands of people. It’s less of a personal issue for me, but more of an issue for society.”
Liam Renouf-Macnab, London
Renouf-Macnab, 29, linked up with four biological half-siblings after taking part in the ITV documentary Born of the same stranger and has since been in contact with three more half-siblings. “Seven feels manageable,” he says. “I build relationships with them and it’s been really amazing.”
From non-identifying information provided by the HFEA, he knows he is from a sibling of 17 and although that may be within the 10-family limit, he says he was shocked by the number.
“I feel proud to be part of a heritage that’s really connected to women’s rights, fertility rights, LGBT rights,” he says. “But the marketing of the industry to create 17 children felt like something I had to deal with and process and think through.”
Renouf-Macnab would like to see stricter regulation of the industry, with sperm banks being brought into public ownership and a legal obligation on the HFEA to inform donors conceived of their biological origins. “One thing I support is that donor-conceived people have a right to know. If, at 18, the HFEA contacts the donor-conceived to tell them, it will encourage parents to make sure they have those conversations early on.
