Every year at this time, we marvel at the many creative ways baseball players make an appearance on the ever-popular Strange But True Injuries of the Year rankings.
So we’d like to thank this year’s baseball crowd for… cooking breakfast… playing the piano… and doing their best to get in and out of their hotel bathroom safely. But you know what’s especially great? None of those accidents even made this list!
Really? Yes, really. So here they come, the weirdest but true injuries of 2023.
First Prize: Eye Confession!
We always award Injury of the Year bonus points to guys who manage to get hurt while they’re already hurt. So here’s to Rays relief fighter Pete Fairbankswhich couldn’t even cover up the Giannis impersonation that got him into this mess.
When Fairbanks met with the Rays’ media delegation in June after returning from a stint on the injured list with hip inflammation, he brought with him a glaring black eye — and one of the great How I Did This stories of the 21st century.
It seems it can happen to you too, if you are trying to thin on your 3 year old in the pool.
“I pulled the pool basketball hoop off my face after I dunked on a 3-year-old,” Fairbanks confessed, “to teach him some kind of early life lesson that when you’re in the paint, you cannot be caught unawares under the edge.”
To which we can only hope his son said: Send it in, Jerome!
Second prize: It’s all the alarm clock’s fault!
Yusei Kikuchi really needs his Z’s. (Rich Storry / USA Today)
We have always thought about Blue Jays starter Yusei Kikuchi as a sleeping giant.
Little did we know!
Why did he make an early exit from a great start to September at Yankee Stadium? Because he cramped, he said, after getting “only” 11 hours of sleep – in contrast to his usual 12 to 14 hours. So he may not lead the league in shutouts. But what the heck. You have to love his chances of leading the league in Shuteye. And if that’s your sleep goal, T-shirts are available!
Third prize: When you (and your back) have to go
When Diamond back pieces third baseman Evan Longoria strained his back last July, he was only supposed to miss a week or so. So why did it change in three weeks? Because, according to his account, he aggravated his back get up from the toilet in a hotel bathroom in San Francisco.
So you thought making outs could be dangerous to a baseball player’s career, huh? Watch out for the outhouse!
Fourth prize: There goes his walking ratio
Tony Gonsolin successfully walks off the mound during a start in July. (Jerome Miron / USA Today)
Need more proof that most spring training drills are overrated? Evaders pitcher Tony Gonsolin went to a routine field practice during spring training last March — and did well on the fielding part. It seems that this was his exit strategy that he should have been working on.
He stumbled off the field and sprained his ankle and missed the first four weeks of the season. But was it all worth it? He hasn’t made a mistake all season!
Fifth prize: They had enough time to be an even greater father
Finally, there have been so many great moments in fatherhood this season… which led to not-so-great moments trying to make it on the field… so we’re rounding them up here. If their families print and frame it, it should make a lovely Father’s Day gift.
• Giants pitcher Anthony DeSclafani broke his toe… playing the piano with his son!
• Adam Wainwright burned his finger … cooking breakfast for his son!
• Josh Donaldson cut his thumb … while assembling a toy for his daughter!
All this seems troublesome. But hey, at least they weren’t trying to thin on their kids in the pool.
The year in Strange But True
GO DEEPER
The Year in Strange But True: MLB’s 20 Most Amazing Hitting and Hitting Performances of 2023
GO DEEPER
The Year in Weird But True: MLB’s Weirdest and Wildest Teams and Games of 2023
(Top photo of Pete Fairbanks: Patrick Smith/Getty Images)
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