Couples rowing should take a five-second break to stop them from reaching boiling point, according to a study.
Taking a break during an argument can act as a fire lane that prevents rows from escalating, defuses disagreements and can save the need for expensive counselling.
Psychologists at the University of St Andrews conducted experiments with 81 couples and published their findings in the Nature journal.
Just five seconds was just as effective as longer forced breaks, according to Annah McCurry, a PhD candidate at the university’s school of psychology and neuroscience.
“It sounds obvious, but this is the first time anyone has experimentally shown a reduction in aggression after forced breaks. “Forcing couples to have a five-second break was just as effective as a 10- or 15-second break, showing that even the shortest breaks can help defuse an argument,” says McCurry, who led the experiments. along with her supervisors Dr. Robert May. and Prof David Donaldson.
“This is a simple, free and effective hack to reduce negative emotions during arguments. It is cheaper than couples therapy and can be easily integrated into everyday interactions.”
To measure the impact of the forced break, the study manipulated conflict by engaging couples in a competitive game where they could blow an unpleasant sound at their partner at a volume of their choosing. The couples competed in 30 rounds of the match, with breaks enforced at various intervals.
Advanced AI and machine learning were used to analyze the emotional responses, which were captured by a 360-degree camera with onboard audio.
McCurry and colleagues found that couples tended to match each other’s level of aggression, even at high levels. However, enforcing a short break disrupted this pattern of retaliation, resulting in lower overall aggression.
However, the strategy has its limits and is intended for the management of lower-level conflicts, to prevent their escalation into more serious fights caused by negative emotional arousal and poor emotion regulation ability.
“This approach does not apply to domestic violence scenarios,” McCurry said. “It’s about managing the everyday, everyday arguments that couples have that can escalate.”
